My name is Brandi. I was addicted to methamphetamines and heroin for a very long time. I was prescribed Ritalin and Xanax back in college that I took for twelve years. My son was removed from my care three months after he was born because of my drug addiction. The life I was living was nothing short of a nightmare. I was so depressed for so many years because of choices I made along the way. Finding the will to get out of bed, at times, seemed almost impossible. The thought of it would literally torment me. In my mind there was nothing worse than having to get up and actually face the life I had created for myself. I lived in misery and despair every minute of every day. The worst of it was all the racing thoughts I had all the time about what a miserable drugged out failure I was. I believed I wasn’t worth anything to anyone and I certainly wasn’t worth anything to God!!! I came to the end of the line. If I didn’t change the way I was living there is no question that I would surly die.
I checked into Hannah’s House on Sept 4th, 2011 high on drugs. I was informed before my arrival that this program was a year long. Not a chance in this world was I going to stay in a program for a year. I was going to stay long enough to satisfy DHS, get my son back, and be on my way. That was my plan anyway. It turned out God had a very different plan. The day came six months after I got to Hannah’s House where Wyatt, my son, was returned to my care. My caseworker told me the state of Oregon was satisfied with the progress I had made and if I wanted I could choose to leave Hannah’s House. My plan, God’s Plan, my plan, God’s Plan??? God had begun a work in me all those months ago and I knew it. And I knew He wasn’t done yet. This wasn’t just about satisfying my caseworker, Wyatt’s attorney, my family, or myself anymore. I knew there was something much bigger going on here. God used my precious son as a catalyst for bringing me into a right relationship with Him. My life has been redeemed. God took me out of the nightmare I was living, dusted me off, and placed me on a solid foundation. His solid foundation. On this journey I learned about the forgiveness of Christ, His power to heal the wounded, and His life giving grace!
Well I ended up going with God’s plan. I decided to stay the course and see this journey through to the end. It turns out my end didn’t come on September 4th, 2012. I didn’t complete my program until November 4th, 2012. God saw it fit to throw in a couple extra months at the end. God’s timing is a funny thing sometimes.
Now to answer the question, “what are you doing now Brandi?” I decided after completing my program that I would stay at Hannah’s House for another year as an intern. I believe so fervently in the healing power of Jesus Christ that moves through this program I couldn’t see not continuing to be a part of it. I have been given such a tremendous opportunity to serve God by choosing to stay on and intern. I get to watch God do miracles in the lives of the women at Hannah’s House every day. I thank God for choosing me to walk beside the girls at Hannah’s House as they walk out of the unwholesome things that have been controlling their lives. I get to watch them walk out of addictions and life choices that have plagued them for so long. I have such a unique opportunity to be mentored by the greatest people I have ever met in my life. The staff at Hannah’s House is a group of people that God uses to aid Him in saving the lives of the women He brings there. I know this because I am one of those women. They are people that believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. When I didn’t believe in anything God used them to show me the way back home. I get to learn invaluable life lessons from them every day. The staff at Hannah’s House is just one of the countless blessings that God has poured into my life. Each and every day I wake up with a marvelous purpose. I get to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I get to be used by Him every day in the lives of struggling woman. Through this program I have learned how to overcome because I know with all my heart that God is with me every step of the way. I don’t wake up in a state of misery and despair anymore. I wake up focused on God and the call He has placed on my life. I wake up with a heart full of gratitude. I wake up with a desire to serve the one true God. And I wake up with a smile on my face!!! All the glory to God!